Unleashing Your Ultimate Superpower: The Surprising Benefits of Becoming your own best friend.

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” Oprah Winfrey.

Introduction:

Discover the transformative power of befriending yourself and unlock a life filled with fulfilment and success. As you absorb into the importance of self-love, constructive self-talk, and the value of caring for your own needs, you will start to notice a remarkable change unfold.

Have you ever stopped to ponder the idea of being your own best friend? In a world of social media ‘friends,’ and sometimes fickle, fair-weather friends, true external friendships are rare, valuable and can be a source of great support, encouragement and they can help our lives to be more fulfilling. It is essential to cultivate a deep and meaningful bond with yourself for similar reasons. After all, you are the only person who will be with you for your entire life. Embracing the idea of being your own best friend can bring about a multitude of benefits and foster personal growth.

In this blog we are going to explore the advantages gained from becoming a true and loyal friend to yourself. We all value the importance of our friendships as they have a significant impact on our happiness, growth, and overall well-being. However, if you do not apply this to yourself you will undoubtably be neglecting the most essential friendship in your life. Being a good friend to yourself is fundamental for self-love and personal development. In this article we will explore both the characteristics of a bad friend and those of a great friend. We will also focus on how you may unknowingly be harming your relationship with yourself and on what you can do to improve it.

Here at Freedom to Live our commitment is to only write about positive life changes, products, and ways of thinking that we are truly passionate about. That said, please be aware that this article contains some affiliate links which may earn us a commission on purchases, also rest assured, that while using these links should you choose to, will support us, it will not result in any additional cost to you. Remember, you, are your greatest gift! Article continues below..

Self Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.

Join Kristin Neff PhD, as she shares practical and wise guidance on the path of emotional healing and deep inner transformation.

Kristin Neff is a professor in educational psychology, and the world’s expert on self-compassion. She is a pioneer who established self-compassion as a field of study, Kristin offers a powerful solution for combating negativity and insecurity – the symptoms of living in a high-pressure world.

Through tried and tested exercises and audio downloads, readers learn the 3 core components that will help to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can become healthier, happier, and replace negative and destructive measures of self-worth and success with a kinder and non-judgemental approach.

Self-Compassion recognises that we all have weaknesses and limitations, but in accepting this we can discover new ways to achieve improved self-confidence, contentment and reach our highest potential. Simply, easily and compassionately. Kristin Neff’s expert and practical advice offers a completely new set of personal development tools that will benefit everyone. Purchase your copy here. Self Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

Are You a Bad Friend to Yourself? Recognising 5 Characteristics.

Lack of Self-Compassion:

A bad friend often lacks empathy and understanding, and sadly, sometimes we treat ourselves the same way. Do you criticise yourself for every mistake, continually dwell on past failures, and struggle to forgive or offer yourself the same kindness you would give to a close friend or even a stranger in distress? Low self-compassion can relate to perfectionism; people who feel they must be perfect all the time tend not to be forgiving of their own failures and may only feel worthy of love, acceptance, and respect when they achieve success, however because the success is never enough, they can become locked into a cycle of self-criticism unable to celebrate small wins or to forgive their failures. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your humanity and your imperfections while still treating yourself with kindness, just as you would a dear friend.

Negative Self-Talk:

Toxic friends often speak negatively about you behind your back. They constantly belittle your abilities and achievements and erode your self-confidence making you fearful of leaving your comfort zone. In a similar way your inner voice can sometimes be your own worst enemy. A critical inner voice will keep reminding you of past failures, mistakes and opportunities lost, not letting you learn from the past, grow or to moving forward. If you find yourself locked in a vicious cycle of negativity where you are never enough it is a sure sign that you are being a bad friend towards yourself. Look out for this destructive habit and explore ways of reframing your thoughts positively.

Neglecting Self-Care:

A true friend always looks out for your wellbeing and encourages self-care. Self-care is getting regular exercise, eating healthy meals regularly, staying hydrated, making sleep a priority, finding time to relax, finding time to do activities that you enjoy, setting realistic goals and priorities, practicing gratitude, focussing on positivity, identifying, and challenging negative and unhelpful thoughts and staying connected to trustworthy, friends, family or therapists who can provide emotional support and practical help. However, you may find yourself side-lining your needs, ignoring self-care routines, and sacrificing your physical and mental health. Remember that prioritising your well-being is not selfish but essential for maintaining a healthy friendship with yourself. Read more about self-care here. About Self-Care Article continues below..

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions.

In this well reviewed and practical handbook Dr. Christopher Germer shares a paradoxical lesson that he has learned over his decades of experience as a therapist and mindfulness meditation practitioner : We all want to avoid pain, but letting it in–and responding compassionately to our own imperfections, without judgment or self-blame–are essential steps on the path to healing.

“Buck up.” “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” “Don’t ruin everything.” When you are anxious, sad, angry, or lonely, do you hear this self-critical voice? What would happen if, instead of fighting difficult emotions, we accepted them? This wise and eloquent book illuminates the power of self-compassion and offers creative, scientifically grounded strategies for putting it into action. Free audio downloads of the meditation exercises are available at the author’s website: www.chrisgermer.com. Purchase your copy here: The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive.

Are you kinder to others than you are to yourself? More than a thousand research studies show the benefits of being a supportive friend to yourself, especially in times of need. This science-based workbook offers a step-by-step approach to breaking free of harsh self-judgments and impossible standards in order to cultivate emotional well-being. In a convenient large-size format, the book is based on the authors’ groundbreaking eight-week Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program, which has helped tens of thousands of people worldwide. It is packed with guided meditations (with audio downloads); informal practices to do anytime, anywhere; exercises; and vivid stories of people using the techniques to address relationship stress, weight and body image issues, health concerns, anxiety, and other common problems.

The seeds of self-compassion already lie within you–learn how you can uncover this powerful inner resource and transform your life. Purchase your copy here: Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook

Are You a Bad Friend to Yourself? Recognising 5 Characteristics Continued

Putting Others Before Yourself:

While supporting and being there for your friends is important, consistently putting others’ needs before your own can prevent you from building a solid friendship with yourself. While having compassion for others can be an admirable trait, doing so at the expense of having equal or more compassion for yourself can be an indication of:

having low self-esteem and drawing your self-worth from the approval of others.
The desire to keep other people happy so they do not reject you or that they will give you affection.
You struggling to be your real, authentic self. Being true to yourself is one of the most important components of a happy and confident life. When we lack authenticity, it typically stems from our quest for validation from others. We put on a façade, pretending to be someone we are not, all in the hopes of not being rejected or of being perceived more favourably by others. Continuing to push your own needs to the side makes it harder to acknowledge them. Eventually, you might not even feel sure about what you want or how to be true to yourself. You also may not be able to voice the feelings you are aware of, even when you want to speak up for yourself.
Believing deep down that you are less important than others

As a bad friend to yourself you may constantly seek validation from others, striving to please everyone around you without considering your own desires. It is crucial to find a balance between selflessness and self-care, valuing your own wants and needs as much as others.

Fear of Failure and Lack of Self-Belief:

A bad friend often discourages your dreams, dismisses your goals, and undermines your abilities. Similarly, you may find yourself plagued with self-doubt, fearing failure, and limiting your own potential this condition is known as atychiphobia, and unfortunately it can lead to a stunted and unfilled life where you rarely or never leave your comfort zone, realise your potential, or develop into the person you would like to be deep down. You may well be suffering from atychiphobia if you: self-sabotage, are afraid of performing simple tasks, become angry or irritable when you need to complete a task, are overly anxious about being judged by others, are prone to procrastination if a task or activity seems challenging, are unable to maintain relationships, are unwilling to accept constructive criticism or help, have an overly pessimistic (negative) outlook on life. Remember being a good friend to yourself means that you can celebrate your achievements and affirm your worthiness whether you have failed at a challenge.

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” ― Jane Austen. Northanger Abbey.

Always seek to empower yourself not to enable yourself.

When you empower yourself, you take the time to understand your fears, and limitations and you find the help, resources, and tools that you need to make positive changes and to work on solving your problems. When you enable yourself you refuse to acknowledge that you are not growing or you find excuses for your behaviour that is self-destructive, or destructive to others. Always seek to empower yourself not to enable yourself.

A reality check: What should we expect from true, Self friendship?

Being a good friend to yourself means being prepared to empower yourself and not to become an enabler to yourself. Empowering yourself does not mean that you cover up your problems, pretend that they do not exist or convince yourself that all of the blame and all of the solutions, lie with someone else. Rather, when you empower yourself, you take the time to understand your flaws and weaknesses, and you stay loyal to yourself at your lowest points, even when it seems like everyone and everything, is working against you. Empowerment is also loving yourself enough to challenge yourself not to be content with living a half life bound by fear, past trauma or pain.

When you collapse under the weight of anxiety, failure, loneliness, sadness, illness, pressure from others, unresolved childhood or adult trauma, rejection, self loathing, feeling inferior, wanting to give up, or self hatred. An empowering friend loves you then! Right where you are, just as you are. However rather than enabling you, making it easier for you to stay on your knees, the empowering friend, driven by love and compassion, seeks out the resources that you need; i.e. Seeing your doctor, watching reputable, YouTube video resources on psychotherapy and trauma recovery, having CBT therapy, reading books on the topic to understand what it is and how to overcome it, having mental health counselling, having hypnotherapy, learning about and practicing assertiveness, mindfulness or gratitude. Your empowering friend, you, will not give up on you and will do whatever it takes; including asking others for help, to enable you to not only stand on your feet again, but to grow, to shine, to be whole, healed and to live a more fulfilled life!

The empowering best friend part of you equips themselves to help you to become the best possible version of yourself. They go out of their way to learn the skills they lack, or find the help you need, to make positive changes and to work on resolving your problems and to move yourself to a place of inner happiness.

Remember:

A supportive friend challenges you to continually improve yourself. A supportive friend consistently wants to see you win. A supportive friend loves you even when you are at your weakest and lowest. A supportive friend makes you stronger. A supportive friend takes time to understand your fears and limitations and searches for tools, techniques, and assistance to help you to be the best version of yourself. If you empower rather than enable yourself, you will be be able develop tenacity, self resilience, emotional maturity and to continually evolve daily, into the best version of you. Article continues below..

The Child In You: The Breakthrough Method for Bringing Out Your Authentic Self.

In The Child In You, bestselling author and psychologist Stefanie Stahl shares her proven approach for working with – and befriending – our inner child. Powerful, imaginative and practical – with clever exercises, from the three positions of perception to over-writing old memories – she shows how by renouncing our ‘shadow child’ and embracing our ‘sun child,’ we can learn to resolve conflicts, form better relationships, and find the answer to (almost) any problem.

Everyone longs to be accepted and loved. Ideally, during childhood, we develop the self-confidence and sense of trust that will help us through life as adults. But the traumas that we experience in childhood also unconsciously shape and determine our entire approach to life as adults.

The breakthrough million-copy international bestseller about how to find happiness by befriending your inner child

Why Befriend Yourself: the benefits of Self-Freindship.

Self-Love: A Genuine Fondness for Yourself.

A best friend should always have immense love and care for you. Similarly, as you embark on your journey towards self-discovery, it is vital to cultivate self-love. Accept your flaws, embrace your uniqueness, and celebrate your achievements. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and the respect you deserve. Remember, you are worthy of love, especially from yourself.

Trustworthiness: Honouring Your Commitments.

A best friend is someone you can always rely on – a person who keeps their promises and stands by your side when the going gets tough. To become your own best friend, trust yourself. Honour the commitments you make to yourself, be it personal goals, self-improvement plans, or taking care of your well-being. Trust yourself to make the right decisions and to follow through on your promises.

Positive Self-talk: Encouragement in Difficult Times.

Think about the valuable advice and encouragement a true friend provides during challenging moments. Similarly, practice positive self-talk when faced with obstacles. Instead of criticizing or doubting yourself, be your biggest cheerleader. Shift your perspective, seek the lessons in failures, and celebrate your small victories. Remember, you have the power to lift yourself up, even in the darkest times. And if you don’t currently have this power, be a true friend to yourself, go and seek out the tools and resources that you need!

Empathy and Forgiveness: Compassion Towards Yourself.

A best friend listens without judgment, understands your struggles, and forgives your mistakes. Cultivate empathy within yourself. Be understanding and kind towards your own shortcomings and past actions. Learn from your mistakes, but do not hold onto guilt or resentment. Allow yourself to grow and evolve, just as you would with a dear friend.

Fun and Adventure: Embracing the Joy Within.

A wonderful aspect of having a best friend is the ability to create amazing memories and share exciting experiences. Similarly, learn to embrace the joy within yourself. Pursue your passions, explore new interests, and find pleasure in the little things. Treat yourself by engaging in activities that bring genuine happiness. After all, you are your own lifelong adventure!

“A best friend is the only one that walks into your life when the world has walked out.” Shannon l. Alder

Conclusion:

We often invest significant time and energy into being a good friend to others while neglecting the important relationship we have with ourselves. Identifying the characteristics of a bad friend can serve as a wake-up call to improve our self-relationship.

By nurturing a deep sense of self-love and practicing consistent self-care, you can embark on a journey towards achieving your fullest potential. When you lack knowledge, courage, ability or tenacity, you will seek out these missing attributes and empower yourself to grow past your current limitations.

Imagine waking up each day, filled with a renewed sense of self-appreciation and confidence. Picture yourself taking courageous steps towards your dreams, emboldened by the unwavering support and belief in yourself. By becoming your own best friend, you unleash the extraordinary potential that resides within you

Remember to cultivate self-compassion, be mindful of your self-talk, prioritise self-care, value your needs, and fuel your self-belief. By being a true friend to yourself, you can foster personal growth, happiness, and a lifelong bond that will enrich your life in countless ways.

It’s time to put yourself first, don’t worry, they’ll still be enough to share for others but you will be sharing it from a position of inner strength! Prioritise your own happiness, growth, and well-being and good luck on your journey.

Yours sincerely.

Phil Freedom.